I
recently sent a friend a birthday card with the picture of a cat staring at a
sardine can. The comment on the inside of the card said something like – “Hope
your birthday is as happy as the first cat who learns to use a can opener.” I
have had many cats over the years and I can’t imagine any human having that
much fun. I then began to ponder the
idea of cats actually being able to use an electric can opener. The following
is the story of Lefty and Babyface.
Lefty and Babyface lived in a house
with humans. Lefty spent a great deal of time observing the humans and, in
particular, the magic machine that cut into cans of food. One night, while his
humans were asleep he wakes Babyface and announces his plan to use the can
opener. With this power, they can feed themselves whenever they want. Babyface is
hesitant, but Lefty is very skilled at persuasion.
On soft feet, they go down the hall
and enter the kitchen. Lefty orders Babyface to get a can of food from the
“cabinet of cans.” Babyface opens the door. His eyes behold cans…many cans.
There are so many! They are different shapes, sizes, and colors. Which one
should he take? He tries to remember what his food can looks like. He knocks
down a can and pushes it toward Lefty. Lefty skillfully maneuvers the can into
position. With great anticipation and excitement, the can is opened! It’s not
their food. It contains slices of round, yellow fruit with holes in the middle.
Lefty sends Babyface back to the
cabinet. A different can is retrieved. Lefty works the machine’s magic and the
can is opened. This time there are short pieces of a green plant material
floating in liquid. This isn’t cat food either. Several hours and many cans
later, the sun starts rising.
The humans enter the kitchen to
begin their morning routine. The counter tops are covered with opened
cans….pineapple, green beans, peaches, corn,…. and two sleeping cats.
The humans eye the disaster.
“Oh
no….the cats have learned to use the can opener,” exclaims one human.
The
other signed, “That’s great! But I wish they’d learned to read first!”
